884 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

A dark cloud loomed over the once peaceful land of Geonpyeong. Acts of unspeakable cruelty that trampled on even the most basic rights everyone should enjoy were being perpetuated relentlessly. Look now. Rattle. The clinking sound of ceramic bowls colliding. In the stifling silence, that insignificant noise of the bowls sounds as loud as thunder. The family seated around the table sits stone-still, unable to even breathe. A truly suffocating silence! Their fear has turned them rigid, and with only their eyes betraying their unease, they dart glances around. And after a long pause— "It seems clear," someone whispers softly. A quick hissing sound escapes from between someone's teeth, followed by a hushed voice that sounds like a mere whisper on the wind. "Lower your voice. Make no noise." And once again, a heavy silence descends. What a horrifying situation this is! In Qing's hometown, they say not to disturb even a dog when it's eating, and in Zhongyuan, there's a saying that mealtime is more important than an emperor (吃饭皇帝大). Furthermore, as humans are creatures that live by eating, mealtime should naturally be a peaceful occasion. And yet, here they sit before their meal, in an atmosphere so uncomfortable—it goes beyond discomfort, reaching into sheer terror. And that is because— Drrrrk! The door creaks open, and looming there is a ghastly demon. "Meat...! Meeaaat...!" "Ah!" "How could—!" "No!" Someone leaps up in shock, another faints backward in fear, while the eldest son displays remarkable courage, launching himself onto the table. Truly like a human shield, he clutches the Dongpo Pork dish, determined to be the first to die before letting it go. This could be seen as a noble resolve so profound that it might inspire even the harshest villain to reflect... yet. The demon, seemingly devoid of human compassion, leaps forward on all fours, grabbing the table and lifting it high with a triumphant cheer. The Shen San Tian Shen's First Form. Table-Flipping Technique 掀桌子. The table soars into the air, the eldest son is thrown back, and dishes along with their contents scatter in all directions. Meanwhile, the demon's hands leave afterimages, and the floating Dongpo Pork suddenly disappears. At the same time, the demon's cheeks bulge! What is Dongpo Pork? A dish where the pork is initially simmered whole, then fried and finally steeped in precious huangjiu, maintaining a delicate simmer for two time divisions— A true embodiment of a mother's love, a wife's devotion, the essence of dedication! That precious dish now vanished. A ruthless pillaging—it devours the dish faster than eyes can blink, with no hesitation to pick up and eat the pieces that even hit the ground! "A- Ah, no!" The family falls into despair. Utmost despair. Resigning even their resistance, they helplessly watch with vacant expressions as the dish, which took the wife great effort from morning until this noon, disappears. And then. "Sniff, sniff! Delicious smell...!" "Ah, no! Stop! Cease!" The demon storms beast-like through the doorway into the kitchen. Lifting the lid reveals a large, uncut slab of meat—Dongpo Pork, prime piece! In anticipation of the demon’s attack, they cunningly partitioned the pork, intent on offering it up and waiting until the demon retreated to enjoy the rest—truly a demon-like stratagem! But they underestimated the demon’s sense of smell. Surpassing the ordinary human's capabilities, its sense of smell is so acute that even the Dog Demon, a master of scent, would clench its nose in reverence. Truly the best nose in all the realm! And paired with an insatiable tongue that devours anything and everything! One couldn't even tell if it was a woman or, perhaps, demon in a woman’s form—such was Ximen Qing, the demon. "Why on earth?! What grudges have you with us to do this?!" The grievance and despair over the vanished Dongpo Pork erupt into a desperate voice. Yet the demon simply turns slowly. "You'll be punished! You'll be punished by the heavens! How can you even disturb someone during a meal, when even hating a beggar, one should never smash the bowl!" Suddenly, a memory flares to life. A half-eaten mantou, floating in a slop that not even beasts would swallow. Yet beneath narrow walls, fearful of being caught, she hastily shovels it in, eventually unable to hold tears back, but still, no sound escapes, not even a whimper. Back then, hiding was more out of fear of the other beggars than the villagers. But beggars are no longer around. Indeed, over in Kunpyeong, Qing too wasn’t left alone when scavenging. They would prod her, throw pebbles, or perhaps gather around in hordes as if it were a spectacle. Still, unlike the beggars, they didn't intend to kill, it was merely petty harassment. Thus, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Petty with pettiness. It wouldn't make sense to kill for more substantial grievances, so petty annoyance works perfectly. The returned and unforeseen troublemaker, a new nuisance for the village, with such near-comical yet wretched revenge. Qing leaps forward in a bound. Somehow, it feels liberating. In hindsight, she should have done this back then. Even then, her enhanced physical prowess, traded for her charm, was enough to rival most men. Yet she only waited, hoping for someone to reach out with a kind hand. Too afraid of backlash, she endured the bullying. And as if pleading for pity, she would linger where she could be seen, believing she could elicit their sympathy. Though truly, the wrong has always lain with those villagers of Kunpyeong. --- **Translation Note:** - Kunpyeong(건평): Maintained "Kunpyeong" as a name of the fictional place. - Dongpo Pork(동파육): Literal translation of a traditional Chinese dish known for its slow cooking and flavorful nature. - Mantou(만두빵): Translated as "mantou" to keep the Chinese context and style of food. - Shen San Tian Shen(진상천하행패): Translated as a fictional name, given it is a poetic term used for a dramatic table-flipping technique. - Dog Demon(견犬공마): Translated literally, adhering to the descriptive title given to a being of great scent ability. **Gender Identity:** Ximen Qing has been identified as female based on context from the narrative. **Suggested Correction for List:** "Kunpyeong" should be added as a location name, and "Shen San Tian Shen(진상천하행패)" as a martial technique. Ultimately, compared to the low morals of the ancient Zhongyuan, the inhabitants of Kunpyeong were exceptionally egregious. Nevertheless, the situation primarily stemmed from the villagers’ shortcomings. Qing giggled as she took a hearty bite of the Dongpo Pork. The pork and fat melted away upon contact with her teeth, leaving an incredibly rich and soft flavor. Wow, this family's Dongpo Pork is truly remarkable. Not even high-end inns could match this—of course, inns can't afford the time to lovingly simmer it like this. Qing flashed a mischievous white grin, feeling utterly satisfied. ---- February passed, and March finally arrived. Although according to the lunar calendar it was spring, Liaoyang in the north remained a cold region. This meant that ice still formed during the day, and it would be another month before the ground thawed enough to prepare for farming. And it had been over ten days since the 'plague demon' began wreaking havoc. The residents of Kunpyeong gathered en masse at a grand estate, holding an impromptu town meeting. Kunpyeong held no official government office. In these rural areas, local worthies often assume the role of governance. These influential figures, sanctioned by the authorities, were known as aristocrats, or more commonly, village chiefs or elders. In Kunpyeong, the elder was none other than Oh Hakkye, the owner of the Oh Family Estate. He was the power behind Kunpyeong, the one to whom villagers turned for solutions during crises. "Great Elder, must we let that wretched beggar girl run wild? It's driving us mad!" "As soon as we try to enjoy a cherished meal, she swoops in—such impudence is intolerable!" Adults, those who even had children of their own, grouped together to tattle that she had stolen their food. A scene laughable in its simplicity but no laughing matter to them. Individually, this was serious. The chaos caused by the plague demon was driving Kunpyeong's residents insane. Especially during the winter downtime in Zhongyuan, when the only delight was a good meal. Meat was precious in winter. How could it be that, on the day they finally prepared a special meal, she would sniff it out and steal the meat? And it wasn't just meat. Even during snack time, she would appear like a ghost to pilfer their treats. "She's enormously strong and takes beatings without flinching while munching away." "The plague demon's toughness, well, we knew it from before. Even after the beatings by beggars, she stayed robust." "Don't even get me started. She scampers on all fours like some beast; we don't dare touch her. Elder, shouldn't we do something about her?" "How much does she eat, endlessly hovering around others’ tables, and today alone— there’s Ironworker Oh, Folkcraft Oh, Shoemaker Oh, Tradesman Oh, Cliff-Climbing Jang..." An isolated village, inherently a clan settlement. One in three people in Kunpyeong bore the surname Oh, with the rest being mainly Jang or Lee. In any case. Dining times in Zhongyuan weren't dictated by law, nor was there fixed work during the farming off-season. Thus, mealtimes were unpredictable. And the plague demon's raids continued unabated at all hours, so within just over ten days since she'd started, her victims multiplied like snowballs. Of course, revenge in Zhongyuan was a pressing matter. Yet that mysterious beggar girl was exceptionally elusive. And not just that. Even more audaciously? "Elder, now she's outright pilfering!" Kunpyeong’s residents pondered. Until that beggar girl left, they decided to cease preparing special meals. They hoped that by merely eating plain mantou with greens, she'd tire out and move to another village. A remarkably bold resolve it was. However. Now she barged into kitchens, stealing even uncooked meat. Not only meat, but also fish, dried fruits, sweets, even expensive ingredients like sugar or honey. Even if hidden securely, she'd sniff them out as if guided by spirits. Finally forced to, they lived on a diet of rice with nothing but greens, mantou with nothing but greens, and noodles in soy sauce broth with nothing but greens. How can one prepare a meal without ingredients! "Ugh." Oh Hakkye let out an inconvenient groan. This groan, combined with a somewhat displeased, perhaps even pitiful look, or a gaze examining someone simple, resulted in? An expression as if he was witnessing the most pathetic people on earth. This caused Kunpyeong’s people's shoulders to slump. The terror of the plague demon's revenge was palpable! Troubling as it was personally, from afar it was a trivial matter. To express that torment elsewhere would label them incompetent fools unable to handle a simple beggar, their tables raided. Though infuriated by her deeds, they had no outlet for their anger. Falling out over food is often said to be the most sorrowful—and that exactly described Kunpyeong’s situation. Trivial yet serious, vile and filthy yet dreadful acts. Such was Qing's revenge! Of course, despite its triviality, it was shockingly filthy—the kind of conduct that begged the question of how such a disgusting woman existed. "Well, with the freezing cold and unthawed ground, there's nothing much to do anyway. Why not grab clubs and catch her? Why come here raising such a ruckus?" "Alas, Elder, we’ve tried! Yet every time we roll up our sleeves, she somehow senses it and vanishes—her intuition is otherworldly." Indeed, driven by the grudge over the special meal and the beef's revenge, many charged out with clubs. Vowing to break every bone of the plague demon that day, to knock out every tooth, they prowled the town with fierce eyes. But it had to be seen to be believed. It was like dealing with an ethereal being. --- **Translation Note:** - Liaoyang(요녕): Retained as "Liaoyang" to mirror the name of a recognizable region in China. - Oh Family Estate(오가장): Translated from "Ohgajang," meaning the estate belonging to the Oh family. Hanja wasn't provided, but typically this estate is a powerful or wealthy family’s estate. - Elder or Great Elder (대인): Maintained as a title often used for respected figures in historical settings. - Shoemaker, Folkcraft, Ironworker, Tradesman (씨): Maintained as common professions among the residents. - Mantou(만두): Maintained "Mantou" to capture the traditional and cultural food context. - Hakkye(오학계): Retained "Hakkye" as a name for an influential character in the narrative. **Gender Identity:** Qing remains identified as female, reinforcing the character continuity. **Suggested Correction for List:** Locations like "Liaoyang" should be added as potential regional names, along with understanding "Oh Family Estate(오가장)" as a significant locale in the narrative. "Tsk tsk. Running here to tattle, over a mere beggar girl? Really, people." At this, the heads of Kunpyeong hung low. But only for a moment. Because at the next words, their heads snapped up in attention. "Hoo, yet I can't simply ignore the distress and frustration you all are facing. Alright. I will send my martial guards to capture her. After that, you can make her into soup or sashimi, whichever you prefer. Understood?" How could one maintain people's support without being attuned to their sentiment? Yet, of course, one could still maintain such control. For countless cruel and wicked individuals had wielded blades to dominate their regions before. However, Oh Hakkye was not of that kind. And like the numerous Oh's, their genealogies would eventually converge upward. No other family names existed where either the wife was not an Oh or at least one of their in-laws wasn't. We are not strangers here. Thus, the villagers of Kunpyeong bowed deeply. "Oh, Elder, thank you." "There's no one like you, Elder." "We are ever grateful, haha." And they exchanged looks amongst themselves. Now it was all settled; they pondered how they'd twist that plague demon just right, ensuring tales of it flow as common gossip. Already relieved, they downed the cooling rice water. Perhaps one could be excused for feeling this way. For indeed, even the most intelligent person wouldn't fathom that the plague demon was concealing her true strength. --- **Translation Note:** - Sashimi (회): Literally "sashimi" in Korean is a term borrowed from Japanese to refer to raw fish dishes; used here metaphorically to imply dealing with someone as one would prepare raw fish. - Martial guards (무사): Translated literally from "musa," indicating armed guards or fighters. - Cooling rice water (숭늉): Translated literally, it is a traditional Korean drink made from water that has been poured into a pot of rice after cooking and allowed to steep. **Gender Identity:** The character references are consistent with the narrative, identifying Qing and the other characters accordingly. **Suggested Correction for List:** "Martial guards (무사)” and traditional food references like "Sashimi" and "Cooling rice water (숭늉)" might be added for clarity in cultural context.