883 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

If only you wouldn't age, I wish desperately. Yet as much as I wish, I hope you age just the same. What is the heartbreaking story behind this intense ambivalence, this mix of love and hate? However, it's a typical contradictory emotion harbored by many in Zhongyuan - Its subject is their chickens! An old chicken no longer able to lay eggs fulfills its final duty in death. That duty is to become a nourishing meal. By being eaten by the owner who raised and fed it, it becomes one with the owner, transforming into nutrients — a poignant end marked by unity between human and animal. Above all else, the chicken is delicious! Thus, people in Zhongyuan eagerly await the aging of their pet chickens. However, the aging of a pet chicken also signifies the end of enjoying delicious eggs, leading them to hope that their chickens will never age, continuing to lay fresh eggs daily to display their vitality. Indeed. Humans are such complex beings. In Qing's hometown, it's the same; don't working people struggle between the impulse to quit their jobs and the desire to work until retirement, collecting severance and pension? And today, the hen at the Zhang's household did not lay any eggs. Perhaps it was even yesterday. Therefore, today calls for chicken! One might dismiss this excitement over a single chicken. But a chicken consumed during the impoverished end of winter, relying on autumn earnings, holds special significance. When spring arrives, they can gather herbs or mushrooms or even hunt. Yet, at the end of winter, for a simple farmer to completely indulge in a chicken seems a bit extravagant in reality. It's not an enormous burden, of course. However, this provides small yet certain happiness in daily life. Where else can you eat big chunks of chicken with relish? After devouring the meat, tear the leftovers, mix them with glutinous rice in a chicken broth, create congee, and eat it well-blended. Hence, the day feels incredibly long for the Zhang family. Why does winter's sunset take forever? Finally, the wife begins cooking. Shuyoji, a dish where the chicken is boiled in a vegetable broth, is prepared. Traditionally in Zhongyuan, Shuyoji involves boiling broth furiously, adding chicken, then turning off the heat and waiting for about half a si (hour) to let it cook through residual heat. According to Qing’s hometown practice, it's primitive ancient low-temperature cooking! Unlike Dongyi people's Baeksuk, it focuses more on the chicken meat's doneness than the well-seasoned soup. Therefore, Shuyoji is a dish that allows even the breast meat to be tender and juicy, focusing entirely on the chicken. So, the older Mr. Zhang, the young Mr. Zhang, and little Mr. Zhang sit around the table, eagerly swallowing their saliva in anticipation of the wife’s cooking. Yet, why is the wife taking so long? It feels like time has frozen, like a moment lasts for three autumns. “A moment lasting like three autumns” is used when one anxiously awaits something and time seems to stand still. Time flows, narrating an endless saga. After much waiting, the wife finally appears through the side door, carrying the large pot entirely. At last! Finally! At last! Chicken! It’s chicken! Thus, the Shuyoji! With gleaming eyes, the elder Zhang, the young Zhang, and the little Zhang prepare to attack - That very moment. Boom boom boom! A loud knocking sounds at the door. As they reach out to grab the chicken limbs, the Zhangs pause and look at each other. Did anyone invite friends today? Oldest? Youngest? Not me. Would anyone invite friends on such an important day? Then, who could it be? Who'd be so rude to knock at this hour? However, bang bang bang! Bang bang bang!! Bang bang bang!!! The knocking grows louder. Mr. Zhang grimaced. “Tsk, it’s best to eat it warm.” Yet clearly, there’s an urgent matter since the knocking at such a time is relentless and intense. With a sigh, Mr. Zhang gets up to open the door. And there – "Grrr..." Standing there, a figure with hair draped over them as if draped in seaweed - Their dirty hair is tangled and glossy, covering their face completely. But through the vertical split like a crack, the bloodshot, glaring left eye! People from Qing’s hometown would gasp in terror at such an apparition. One of the most notorious and malevolent spirits, the mother ghost of the Japanese (伽椰子), when such an entity arrives, it can stop anyone's heart. Mr. Zhang, too, was no exception. Staring directly into the ominous one-eyed glare left him dizzy and weak-kneed, causing him to fall backward on the floor. Is this a ghost, or is this a ghost?! Truly a nightmare come to life! “Gasp!” “Grr...” With a growl like hell’s starving ghost, the ghost leaped towards the table on all fours. From Mr. Zhang's view, toppled backward, the ghost, and through its four legs, the table seemed unusually large. “No, no! Stop it!” However, it was too late. “Eeek...!” “Aaah!!” The wife, wide-eyed, forgetting how to breathe, trembling as she stared at the ghost, as if moving her eyes would spell death. The eldest son, young Mr. Zhang, shrieked, flailing wildly, knocking over his chair with a clatter, and - Amidst it all, the ghost landed on the table on all fours, seizing the chicken in its dark hand, and brought it to its mouth - The youngest son, little Mr. Zhang’s pupils dilated. The ghost's mouth opened wide. How could a human mouth open so wide, more like tearing than opening, with the lower jaw dropping? Little Mr. Zhang’s pants turned a dark shade from the crotch rapidly. Subsequently, the ghost began devouring the chicken whole. --- **Additional Terms and Context** 1. **Shuyoji (수어계, 水煮鷄)** - A traditional dish where the chicken is boiled in a vegetable broth. The subtlety of letting the residual heat cook the chicken is emphasized in the translation to highlight the technique's origin and uniqueness. 2. **伽椰子 (Kayako)** - Known as Kayako, the ghost story component used in some horror narratives, including the ghost from the Ju-On series, used here for hyperbolic fear depiction. 3. **일각여삼추(一刻如三秋)** - Directly translated for weight; "a moment lasting like three autumns" underlines the feeling of anxious waiting, effectively conveying the emotional tension. Characterizing the presence as a ghost or a malevolent spirit provides a traditional cultural context common in Korean storytelling, where spirits are often depicted as malevolent or terrifying creatures exaggeratedly affecting narrative characters. The text's word play and culturally specific food references highlight the cultural richness of Zhongyuan living, painting a vivid picture for readers unfamiliar with these customs. To maintain the narrative flow's tone, exquisite food descriptions are upheld due to their integral connection to cultural and familial undertones. No, "shoving in" would be a more accurate expression than "eating." Chomp chomp chomp! Chomp chomp chomp! Chomp chomp chomp chomp! The sound of food being stuffed into the mouth and chewed with a wide-open jaw filled the air with a vulgar noise. Even as the wife remained frozen, Mr. Zhang moaned with pain from his burning tailbone, young Mr. Zhang struggled clumsily with the chair legs tangled around him, and little Mr. Zhang continued to tremble even after emptying his bladder. Amidst all this, the ghost whispered softly. "Hehe... chicken tastes good..." A foolish exclamation breaking the previously terrifying atmosphere brought Mr. Zhang to his senses. Now it seemed it wasn't a ghost, but rather a beggar, or should I say, a plague ghost woman! "This crazy plague ghost woman…!" Mr. Zhang jumped up and lunged at the table. What he saw was a chicken that was already a third devoured in that short moment. In his haste, he grasped the chicken held by the plague ghost but couldn't pry it away - What kind of beggar has such strength…! Well, it’s no wonder; with Qing being an expert martial artist. Even if not a grandmaster, Qing's raw strength surpassed human norms, making it no exaggeration to say Qing's pure strength held top rank in the world; indeed, a description of superior human strength suited Qing perfectly. Mr. Zhang attempted to wrest the chicken away, but like being tethered to a stubborn ox, he was dragged in without resistance. The chicken moved towards the plague ghost's mouth, and Mr. Zhang's hands holding the chicken followed to its mouth. The mouth of the plague ghost opened wide. It was as if, should he not let go immediately, even his fingers would be consumed. Mr. Zhang's heart filled with dread. Surely, it wouldn’t, surely it wouldn’t bite for real. However, Qing is someone who will do what she sets out to do. So, bite! “Argh!” Mr. Zhang screamed as his fingers got bitten. This damn crazy beggar is trying to eat someone alive! That crazy beggar! Oh, save me! “Father!” “Gah!” At their father’s scream, young Mr. Zhang and the wife rushed to the table. Young Mr. Zhang tried to pried open the plague ghost’s mouth by forcing his fingers in, but it was like trying to pry apart a boulder, not even a slight movement. Meanwhile, the wife yanked with all her might on the plague ghost’s hair, but Qing’s scalp was resilient beyond human strength, and even besides that, hair when grabbed in a bunch doesn’t easily come out. “Hicc, hoooo!!” In this chaos, little Mr. Zhang, who had soaked his pants, burst into tears. When unsure of what to do, crying becomes inevitable. That’s precisely the characteristic of a child. Thus ensued a fierce battle between the Zhang family and the plague ghost over Mr. Zhang's fingers, set against the backdrop of the child's sorrowful crying. “Waaaaah! Hooo! Ahh! Ahaaaah...!” Accompanied by a spitting sound, the plague ghost opened its mouth, and Mr. Zhang, along with young Mr. Zhang, who had been pulling with all their might, tumbled over, rolling chaotically behind the table. “Gah!” Frightened, the wife released the grip on the hair and dashed towards her husband, leaving no one to impede the plague ghost's dining. This chicken now belongs to me. I can eat it as I please. “Waaa, sniffle, waaaah...!” Yet, this pitiful crying awakens Qing’s conscience. When a father threw stones at a beggar and his son followed suit, that illustrates how children learn by watching their parents. The little one was absent back then, though? Qing tore off a tender, juicy brown piece of chicken thigh from the still somewhat intact side of the tattered shuyoji, and placed it in the sorrowfully crying child’s mouth. “Waaah, nom nom, ahh, nom, sniffle, nom nom.” Even while crying, when something delicious enters the mouth, one has to cry while eating. That’s another trait of children. Relieved of a burden on her conscience, Qing clamped the chicken between her teeth and scampered away on all fours. Thus, at the Zhang family’s table, left behind were Mr. Zhang on the ground and his elder son and wife sitting around in a daze. The sound of a child crying and eating echoed. “Gah, are you okay? Your hand, your hand, it’s fine?” Upon checking, the wife and son’s expressions were peculiarly mixed. From the screams, it was as if his fingers had been severed, but upon extracting them, they were merely marked without much damage. “Hmmp. Well, that beggar, the plague ghost seems utterly deranged, but let's deal with punishing it come daylight, for now, let’s just eat.” However, what remained on the table were overturned and scattered remnants of a once vegetable dish due to the plague ghost’s antics. And in the pot, only the broth remained without the chicken. “……” “……” “……sniffle.” “At least there’s broth left. Let's add glutinous rice, wife. Tear some dried meat into it. The congee will make a fine substitute.” “Ha…” Then abruptly. Rat-tat-tat, hurried footsteps rapidly approached as a shadowy figure dashed towards in a beast-like manner. The plague ghost returned! “You, you crazy woman…!” “You’re caught, well, wait a moment!” The furious young Mr. Zhang, who’d grabbed a chair to strike, hastily shouted to hold on. The returning plague ghost squatted on the table and seized the pot. Suddenly, the plague ghost smirked. With a smile incongruous with being a beggar, displaying noodle-white teeth. Without warning, she swung it towards the Zhang family, splashing, warm broth cascading over their bodies, leaving a clammy feeling. “Heehee.” “This, this…!” Just as Mr. Zhang was about to erupt in anger, the beggar darted away like an arrow, disappeared swiftly, fleeing on all fours. What remained was a disordered table, an empty pot, and a handful of polished, gleaming chicken bones, dismembered to perfection. “Sniff, whimper, waaah!” --- **Additional Terms and Context** 1. **역병귀 (Plague Ghost, 疫病鬼)** - Refers metaphorically to someone acting crazily or wildly, depicted humorously in this chaotic scene. This traditional term describes spirits known for chaos and disruption, fitting the scene's hyperbolic energy. 2. **거지 (Beggar)** - Used as both a literal and derogatory term defining Qing’s state and behavior, emphasizing Qing’s unscrupulousness in devouring the chicken. The playful name-calling brings levity to the characters’ dire situations. The narrative captures the chaotic, comic relief side of the ghostly theme, drawing on familiar cultural depictions of both spirits and human interactions in traditional storytelling. The tension woven into each sequence is followed by humorous release, maintaining the readers’ engagement through dynamic pivots between fear and levity. Only the sorrowful cries of little Mr. Zhang filled the dining table, echoing through the air. This could be called the truly miserable and tragic end for those who dared to throw stones at a beggar. Plague Ghost! Truly terrifying and fearsome! --- **Additional Context** 1. **역병귀 (Plague Ghost, 疫病鬼)** - Again emphasizes the cultural connotation of a chaotic, disruptive spirit that brings misfortune, serving as a metaphor for unruly behavior here. It underscores Qing's mischievous and outlandish antics that bring about dread and chaos into the scene.