4.10 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter Four: "Quiet As The Depths of the Earth" Part Ten Before leaving school, I found myself reapplying my makeup in the bathroom mirror. Last night's intense self-loathing had temporarily subsided. The prospect of meeting Togawa-san later seemed to have eased it. Now wasn't the time to wallow in self-hatred. Here I was, a woman lying to her husband about visiting a student at home, just to see the naked body of a girl ten years her junior. "Peace," I replied with a blank expression, forming a peace sign before stepping away from the mirror. For some reason, I was smiling as I left the school. Even now, I couldn't fathom what I found amusing. But today's message at lunchtime surprised me. As if she had been eavesdropping on my thoughts from last night, Togawa-san suddenly asked me, 'Am I amazing?' Fortunately, texting over the phone allowed me to conceal my agitation. I had seriously considered the possibility that my constant thoughts about Togawa-san were somehow being telepathically relayed to her. If everything were exposed, well, I'd already confessed so much to her that the embarrassment wouldn't be drastically different. "You are amazing, Togawa-san..." Instead of heading straight to her home, I made a small detour. Unsure of her tastes, I figured that anything sweet would suffice. "Hello," I greeted softly, knocking on her door before stepping back. Considering how she might jump at me upon opening the door, like last time, I created some distance. This time, a sudden embrace would be inconvenient. Behind my back, I held a box, hoping to keep it out of sight for the moment. "Yes...yes?" Togawa-san, in her school uniform, tried to leap at me enthusiastically, but the gap I'd created left her grasping at air. Anticipating her closing the distance, I playfully hopped backward. "Boo." "Save that for later," I replied. For now, there was a reason we couldn't just tumble into each other's arms. Togawa-san, left with her energy unspent, retreated by hugging herself. She then mimicked giving an imaginary version of me a kiss, prompting a flustered "Stop that!" from me. "Welcome back, sensei." "...Yes." Unable to accept everything honestly, nor could I just brush it off, I simply nodded. Once inside the house, I faced a familiar dilemma about how to present the gift. Offering it simply with a 'here you go' seemed a bit lackluster. However, coming up with an engaging way to present it eluded me. After much deliberation, I found myself at the same dead end as before, resignation pricking at my back. "Ta-da..." I don't know. I don't know any other way to present it... The plain white cake box prompted an "Oh!" from Togawa-san. Seeing the shop's name printed on it made her eyes light up. "Oh, I know this place. It's the expensive cake shop near the shopping district, right?" "Expensive... yes, indeed, expensive," I agreed. With prices rising everywhere, 900 yen per cake might be considered pricy. Though I rarely buy from there, their flavor is exceptional, so I accept it. All of their cakes leave a pleasant aftertaste—perhaps 'clear' would describe it best, melting away like fleeting snow. Since I didn't know which cakes Togawa-san would like, I ended up buying more than just two servings of cake, and a variety of other things. "We can't go out to eat, but maybe it'll feel a bit like a date," I mused. The imaginary Hoshi Takasora peered into the cake box and chuckled, "You're really spoiling her, aren't you?" "Thank you, sensei," Togawa-san smiled, the scarf of her uniform swaying as she did. For me, this was something sweeter than cake, but in a way other than taste. "How about a kiss?" "...Later, please," I declined, aware it wouldn't end with just a kiss. After clearing the kotatsu table and placing the cake box on it, I headed to the kitchen. Though clean, it bore no signs of use—an array of aged kitchenware lined neatly. The shelves revealed similarly unused dishware. I chose two sets of forks and plates to wash. While washing, I recalled Togawa-san's meals from lunchtime and surveyed the kitchen. My rising anger towards her mother bubbled beneath the surface, prompting several deep breaths. Expecting her to act like a mother now seemed futile, nor was it what I desired. What I couldn't forgive was her making Togawa-san sad. Having set the table with the washed plates and forks, I realized I'd forgotten about drinks. "Togawa-san, there's no coffee or tea...right?" I asked as I turned to face her, only to be struck by an unexpected sight. Togawa-san, observing quietly, had begun to sob, wiping away fresh tears trailing down her cheeks. "W-what happened? What's wrong?" Panicked, I rushed to her side, holding her as she nearly collapsed. We sat together on the floor, and I held her hands. Unsure of what I might have done to cause this, I stayed by her side, holding her hands in mine until she calmed down. I had thought perhaps this was a feeling I might never understand in my entire life. Yet, perhaps having a child is about gaining this very sense of distance. "I luv you, Senseiii~..." My beloved daughter, with tearful sobs interspersed, offers me the very thing I've always desired most. "Mm," I answer, contentedly accepting her gratitude for the cakes. Though I could guess why Togawa-san cried, saying it aloud it felt intrusive. The air surrounding us, permeating through the wooden house, already confirmed it. Sitting together, I felt as though I'd always been a part of this house alongside Togawa-san. The time we'd actually spent together was minor, but love, perhaps, isn't something that can be measured by length of time. Or so I hoped. Otherwise, I'd lose in the competition for Togawa-san's affection. Having mostly stopped crying, Togawa-san let the last remnants of her tears fall onto me. "Sensei." "Yes?" "I love you." To support the snuggling Togawa-san, I pressed my hands against the floor for leverage. I want to protect this girl. Prevent her from being hurt. I want to keep her untouched by anyone or anything other than me. Both of these feelings stood as tall as I did.