Chapter 57 Masochist’s Rebellion (5) - Martial Arts Masochist

“...we're about to have a more intense exchange than ever before.” Cheongwol seemed to freeze at those words. I secretly bit my lip. Would it work? I didn't know. However, Cheongwol was obsessed with resolving her inner demon, and she believed I could help her with it. I believed it would be enough of a bait. Cheongwol is naturally a masochist anyway. Most importantly, Muk Ryong and the main character cannot grow apart. That absolutely cannot happen! Otherwise, it would be my fault! But judging by the flow of things, the Tang family meeting would soon be over. All because of Cheongwol. Therefore, I had no choice but to persuade her. She's a contrarian who doesn't listen to anyone, but it's not like I can't even try, right? That's all I can do. -Thud! “Uh!” At that moment, Cheongwol pushed me away. I couldn't see her face behind the veil, but her shoulders were rising and falling. "Are you... considering me a fool?" She seemed to be breathing heavily already. “...I did want to resolve my desire, but... I wasn't hoping to do it in Seongdo, was I? Am I out of my mind...!” Cheongwol stated the obvious. She hesitated for a long while like that, and then suddenly left. Our meeting ended so shortly. ... I looked at Cheongwol's retreating figure. ... Did I mess up? I sat down in place and scratched my head roughly. Even to me, it seemed foolish. Perhaps I acted thoughtlessly because I was desperate. "... Sigh." ... Yeah. Who offers to use SM play as a negotiation tool? . . . ‘Yes. I know you were worried. It's my fault. We've reconciled, so don't worry too much.’ ‘Oh dear! That's good! Everyone should get along nicely!’ I heard voices from afar. At the center of a large crowd was Cheongwol. I looked at her blankly. ‘Yes. Thank you for your support. The headmaster will also be pleased.’ Her face was filled with a fake smile. Holding someone's baby in her arms. Pinching the cheek of the baby lightly and smiling, she could only be described as heavenly feminine. She's called the Millennium Flower of the Emei Sect. It's impossible to see her as a slaughterer of people. “...?” The Cheongwol I saw now was so different from the one who left yesterday, and I quietly watched the scene. Gwak Du Ahjussi asked next to me. “... What exactly did you do, Seo Jin?” **** A madman. The more she got to know him, the more Han Seo Jin differed greatly from anyone Cheongwol knew. How could he dare to make such a proposal? She wanted to resolve her inner demon, but she didn't want to do it outside Emeishan. Initially, even if they did, where would they do it? Was he suggesting renting an inn? That possibility seemed high. Han Seo Jin didn't seem like the type to enjoy openly exposing himself either. But the walls of an inn are thin. If anyone listened, it's not impossible to eavesdrop. What if someone heard the sounds from beyond the door or the wall? That would be the end. Everything built with the name of the Emei Sect's Millennium Flower. All her restraint, purity, and reputation... would burst like a bubble in an instant. She'd be miserably ruined. -Swish... “... Ha, ha...” And at that imagination, an unfamiliar breath escaped her lips. A tingling sensation ran down Cheongwol's spine. An absolute taboo. ... Such feelings because it's something that shouldn't be done. That chilling, destructive sense of betrayal that a nun of Emei should never feel. Cheongwol closed her eyes and shook her head. The more she entangles with Han Seo Jin, the more she feels like she's discovering a less flattering side of herself. Cheongwol wanted to deny it. She wished to resolve her inner demon. But not now. At Emeishan, in that basement... she wanted to handle it at a low level. Not here in Seongdo, all the time, whenever possible. Han Seo Jin's proposal was utterly useless. Expecting her to get along with other postoutrageous novices just for some game. Ignore it. Han Seo Jin overestimates himself. ... However, even aside from Han Seo Jin's suggestion, Cheongwol felt that her behaviors in the past few days were misguided. It wasn't necessarily due to Han Seo Jin pointing it out. It felt as if his shocking proposal snapped her mind into clarity. To some extent, he was right. There was nothing good in turning away from the postoutrageous novices. It's better to maintain good relations, even if it means wearing a mask. Everyone would say so. And when she thought about it, she was bothered by herself losing her temper in front of civilians. She might bring disgrace to Emei Sect because of this news. A nun should not behave so violently. It's unacceptable. Have you ever heard of a Shaolin monk hitting someone? Cheongwol acknowledged her mistakes. For that reason, she first visited Muk Ryong the next day. “... I apologize for yesterday's events.” The gathering of the seven postoutrageous novices excluding Cheongwol. Everyone froze and looked at her as she apologized. Especially Muk Ryong, who blinked several times at the unexpected apology. Cheongwol proceeded calmly. “Having been taught to live actively, I have shown an impetuous attitude because I detest being ordered around... It's my fault.” A brief silence followed. But Muk Ryong, the oldest, soon nodded quietly. His expression slightly softened, and he approached her with a concerned expression. And he cautiously began speaking. “... I apologize too, young lady. Looking back, I also had many failings.” His tone became polite. He no longer called her by name. Cheongwol's warning had worked. Muk Ryong then extended his hand for a handshake first. “Let's get along well again.” Cheongwol looked at that hand. After a brief hesitation, she shook her head and said. “I'm sorry. As a nun of the Emei Sect, contact with outside men... does not align with my commandments.” Muk Ryong clicked his tongue. “Ah, I've made a mistake again. Blame it on my lack of learning; please be understanding.” Cheongwol offered a formal bow with her fists. Muk Ryong reciprocated with the same gesture. Afterward, Cheongwol individually bowed to the other postoutrageous novices. Apologizing for her cold demeanor over the past few days, she once again adhered to proper etiquette. Though everyone was surprised, smiles soon emerged. No one took Cheongwol's greeting lightly. Instead, their faces blossomed with a mix of joy and relief. Muk Ryong, too, reflected on the cold atmosphere he had contributed to and concluded with a gentle smile. Meanwhile, leading this atmosphere, Cheongwol was thinking to herself. This really wasn't about wanting to play. **** Tang Soran observed Cheongwol’s transformation. After the incident in the basement, a chilly breeze lingered between the two. While that atmosphere wasn’t entirely pleasant, it wasn’t entirely unpleasant either. Amidst that gap, a faint sense of pleasure arose. Was Cheongwol angry about briefly having Han Seo Jin taken away? Thinking that way made Cheongwol seem cute, made the so-called marvelous Millennium Flower appear laughable, and, at times, trivial. Of course, it could be a misunderstanding. It may not be due to Han Seo Jin, but merely her inner demon worsening. That day, Cheongwol stared at the wall. Instead of resolving it, the cracks within her might have widened. But if it wasn’t a misunderstanding... If it really was because Han Seo Jin looked only at her, Tang Soran felt as if she’d grasped Cheongwol's weakness. Who would’ve thought they could find a chink in the armor of this perfect postoutrageous novice, a peer of the same era as Cheongwol, a dragon and a phoenix? To snatch something precious from this monstrous being, who could potentially become the greatest under the heavens in the future. A vague sense of superiority even lingered. Tang Soran found herself disgusted by these feelings, but she couldn’t resist them. That ugly, filthy, unwanted self was ultimately who she was. To the endlessly hollow Tang Soran, even such trivialities were a buffer against insanity. In any case, Cheongwol appeared slightly broken afterward. She, who was supposed to have retreated to Emeishan, suddenly appeared on the journey with a veil. She claimed she would go to Seongdo first and yet wasn’t seen for days upon arrival. Later, when she did appear, she showed no effort to engage with the other novices. She even kicked Muk Ryong... without seeking reconciliation. Her expression was worn, her gaze wandering. Seeing this, Tang Soran began feeling guilt. Had she made her this way? After days of torment and self-reproach. In just one day, Cheongwol appeared entirely changed. As if there was never any need to deal with inner demons. “Yes, I will continue my diligence.” In front of others, she gently smiled, nodded, and exuded elegance and composure. People exclaimed once more at the sight. ‘Of course, there’s no place the Emei Sect's Millennium Flower would go. It was just a brief spat.’ ‘As a woman, I understand well. There’s a moment each month when women become sensitive.’ ‘Just look at that smile. There’s no comparing her to my own wife.’ ‘Her beauty alone is an astounding talent, but with such superior martial prowess, what else could the Millennium Flower be but a divinely blessed person?’ Discussions cropped up everywhere, entwined with Tang Soran, on who the most beautiful under the heavens was. What had happened? Why did she suddenly appear this way? What was the reason for her odd behavior over the past few days, and why did she suddenly become okay? Tang Soran's thoughts delved deeper still. . . . “Sigh...” After socializing was over, Tang Soran let out a deep sigh as she returned to her room. She dispelled the benign visage she had shown to strangers and cautiously sat down in a chair. Leaning her upper body against the table, she quietly closed her eyes. She felt exhausted. Seeing Tang Soran venture out brought undeniable joy to the Poison King. Since she was always cooped up inside after all. But truthfully, Tang Soran was overextending herself as well. She thought that if she moved her body forcefully, something might fill the emptiness in her heart. ...But it didn’t seem to be the case. Meeting Han Seo Jin at Emeishan had temporarily quelled her inner demon, but it stirred once more. Hadn't she been the one secretly smiling when recently seeing a jealous Cheongwol? Tang Soran was distressed by this disgustingly repulsive self of hers. She gagged at her own reflection. Why desire what belongs to others? Why can't she love anything? Why is there no world of her own? Why is she so... ‘Discipline.’ -Slap! -Clatter! Tang Soran flinched at the sudden voice she recalled. The imaginary scene alone made her heart pound wildly. “...” That memory couldn't be forgotten. Who would dare to discipline the Poisonous Phoenix, Tang Soran? Tang Soran took a long time to calm her heart. Lately, vague regrets had been consuming Tang Soran. Perhaps, she should have headed to the leather room, no matter what Cheongwol said that day. Now, it seemed too far to revisit that leather room. It would take at least five days to return to Emeishan. Though using qinggong would make it faster, does she really need to go to such lengths? For who would travel five days just to receive a punishment? Moreover, the person in question... was Han Seo Jin, someone Cheongwol discovered first. She was just attempting to seize it. Why would the eldest daughter of the illustrious Grand Tang Clan seek out such a wretched leather room Master? ...Yet her heart incessantly gravitated toward that place. “...” This room was the only space where Tang Soran could unmask herself. A place where emotions, thoughts, and impulses could surface that she couldn't show anyone else. Silently, she curled up. ...Must she once again indulge in it today? -Swish... Her fingertips slowly moved toward her ankles. Tang Soran gritted her teeth as she gradually removed her silk shoes. Revealing her delicate feet. “...Oh.” A soft moan escaped her lips. On Tang Soran's soles were lines of clearly imprinted red whip marks. She rose from her spot and quietly kneeled on the bed. Tilting her head back, she observed her soles, filled with red lines. Just like someone had done for her once, she stroked her soles with the back of her cold hand. These weren't marks left by Han Seo Jin. Those had long since faded. The scars now were all freshly inflicted by herself. Tang Soran carefully retrieved a whip she had secretly hidden under the bed. She still hated herself. Hating the self that swayed with such ugly, base emotions. Desiring what belongs to others, deceiving herself. Being buried in guilt and inferiority. Perhaps that's why Han Seo Jin's image of disciplining her lingered so vividly in her memory. ‘Why is it a problem to punish a bad child?’ “...ha...ha...” ‘A monster grew in your heart because you weren’t disciplined properly when you should’ve been.’ Could that really be true? Coming from a doctor, perhaps there was some truth to it. Tang Soran gripped the whip tightly until her fingertips turned white. Holding her breath, she struck her own foot. -Smack! “Mm!” The pain rippled across her smooth flesh like a wave. The sensation of the whip hitting her bare feet, without any covering, was always more painful, hotter than she expected. “Ha... ha...” -Smack! “Euh!” However, unlike that day, the sense of liberation did not come. Her heart did not find peace as it did when Han Seo Jin did it. She felt even more disgusting for doing this needlessly, and perverse. Despite her efforts, with no change, the suffocating frustration only grew. -Smack! “Agh...!” Yet she swung the whip again. This was all the desperate measure she had. Without it, she felt she might be consumed by her inner demon.