125 - I Unknowingly Rejected My Favorite

EP.125 #125. Self-Deprecation How many times have I pressed the refresh button already? After finishing the broadcast and coming home, I kept checking the drama's comment section while texting back and forth with my brother. [Isn't Kim Eojin seriously handsome? Does the actor have an Instagram ID?] [No clue. He seems like a rookie?] [Will we see more of Kim Eojin? Feels like a non-essential cameo.] There were significantly more comments than for episodes 1 and 2 combined, and a lot of them were curious about my brother. “...Hmm.” This is clearly something to celebrate. It definitely is a great thing to celebrate. Could it be my own inadequacies making me feel this way because I wasn’t entirely happy? While feeling strangely exhilarated, I kept my fingers busy. [Did you see the comments, brother? The reactions are insane.] [If you actually count my screen time, it was barely 5 seconds. Is this for real?] [Still, you've made your mark, so they might call you more often in the future, don’t you think?] [I mean... if we think positively, I guess so?] The phrase "thinking positively" was excessively modest. If a reaction like this came out from a web drama of this scale, it wouldn't be long before my brother gained fame. The public always gets excited about fresh faces. [I’m betting the manager will definitely call tomorrow.] [They did say they'd plan the next schedule based on reactions, so a call seems likely.] Staring at the message window, I suddenly wanted to hear his voice, so I called him right away. [Hello.] [Hello?] [Hi, celebrity.] [What kind of celebrity are you if you only appear for 5 seconds?] My brother responded with a playful laugh. [Come on. Give it a week, and you could have a fan club.] [That’s a bit over the top. People need something to obsess over to form fan clubs.] [Aren’t you underestimating people these days?] Obsession isn’t about the amount of information available. Even the tiniest piece. The same applies to both people and content. People can get excited and declare themselves fans over the smallest detail. It's similar in the VTuber industry. When a short clip goes viral, viewers and subscribers often skyrocket. And as for attractions to obsess over, in my brother's case... I glanced at my phone's wallpaper, which had my brother’s face on it. [It’s all about your face, really.] [Imagining clips floating around the internet with just that is dizzying.] My brother chuckled self-deprecatingly, feeling a bit embarrassed. [Let me give you a clip title. Wait a sec.] Hmm... What would be good... I wanted something that the fans would love, a style they favor. [How about 'PTSD from School Days' or 'Nerd's Worst Nightmare'?] As soon as I mentioned the titles, my brother burst into laughter. [Hey. What’s with the doom and gloom from the start? Do you want me to fail?] [No, it's not about you, just that it's a fitting title for such clips.] He was bound to get a nickname eventually. Or maybe they'll stick with his character's name, Kim Eojin, and run with it. [Anyway, if this becomes super popular, people around you might start reaching out.] [Well... even so, I doubt there’ll be many who’ll directly contact me.] [Don’t you think your college friends might reach out?] [You can answer on my behalf. I’m not close with them, anyway.] Will they actually contact him...? Well, I guess Minji or the others might ask about it. [Alright. I can brag about being a superstar’s girlfriend then, right?] [Then I'll boast about being Luka-tan's world-class boyfriend.] This time of exchanging unserious words was incredibly enjoyable. Chattering until we fall asleep at dawn, never tiring of it. I hope we can meet again tomorrow. Really, there’s nothing to feel bad about. Everyone views my brother favorably, and it’s not like I should have this intense desire to have him all to myself. At that time, I probably thought too highly of myself. * * * [Hey. Is this really you?] Doa’s prophecy came true. I got a call from Yoonje for the first time in a while, and wouldn't you know it, he started talking about the web drama. [...Why.] [Why? Why didn't you tell me you were doing something like this?] He’s not my mom, so why should I report to him? [Wow... Hantaemin... I was wondering what you've been up to, but you had it all planned out.] A bitter laugh escaped at the word “planned.” I just... helped with Luka's concert... Is this what you'd call a plan? Well, yes. It is indeed a plan, given there’s a grander goal. [I just accepted the offer as it came.] [Awesome. But man... you’re annoyingly handsome.] [So why did you call?] Did you just want to confirm if it was me? [Oh? I just wanted to ask if this is really you.] ...Seriously? [Yeah, it's me. So, can we hang up now?] [Wait, wait, wait. Can I tell people we’re friends then?] Anticipating where he’d go with this, I slapped my forehead. [Telling them we’re friends is fine, but don’t ask me to come out.] He tried to use my name for group gatherings even during the semester. [Of course, of course. Would I do that when you’re with Doa~] His jesting tone only made me more anxious. [Anyway, I’m hanging up.] [Okay! I’ll binge-watch the drama!] Yoonje hung up after getting the green light. I should’ve mentioned that what he saw was all there is of me. Honestly, if he starts the series, he’ll likely lose interest and quit before finishing it due to its lack of excitement. But now everyone knows I’m becoming a public figure, I guess. Though, calling myself a public figure might lower the bar too much. Maybe it’s more accurate to call me a semi-public figure. Checking the comment section of episode 3 again, the topic was all about me. [How do I marry Eojin oppa?] To be born as Kim Doa. [I hope Kim Eojin, who is insanely good-looking, appears again.] Sorry, but there's no plan for further appearances. [That person, Kim Eojin, is a rookie from YM, isn't he?] Not sure where you heard it, but that's correct. Scrolling through the comments while answering questions as if I were in a Q&A session, I quickly straightened up when the manager's call came in. [Oh, yes, manager.] It's been about five days since episode 3 was released. I was expecting a confirmation regarding my next schedule around today. [Yes, Taemin. How have you been?] [Oh, yes.] [As I mentioned before, this stage is very critical, you know? It’s the first time you’re showing your face to the world.] [Yes, yes.] [So... actually, the drama director was wondering if you could appear a bit more, given the buzz around you... hmm... what do you think?] Does this mean they want me to film more of the drama? If that’s the case, there's one main issue. [...Do I have to have lines?] Ah, I shouldn’t have said that. In hindsight, it seemed like such a silly question. The manager laughed heartily. [Oh, there will be lines. It won’t be like your role will suddenly increase dramatically, but it will probably feel like a supporting character, not much different from last time.] Hmm... supporting character... [But last time, I accepted because I didn’t really have a choice. I wonder if I can do it.] I've never acted before, not even in kindergarten. [If Taemin decides to do it, we'll start with acting lessons immediately.] ...So they want me to attend an academy. On the contrary, that felt more reassuring. Having a teacher by my side is 500 times better than diving headfirst into the ground. [...What if I decide I can't do it?] This was another thing I was curious about. [The production team would be disappointed, but we’d then proceed to plan your next schedule.] So, it wasn’t absolutely necessary. After a brief contemplation, I chose the most viable option. [Then, could I get a look at the script first and decide if I can do it?] [Understood. But you’ll need to decide quickly. We need to inform both the production and our company, so I can only give you a day.] [Okay, understood.] [I’ll contact the production team right away then!] The call ended there, and I plopped back onto the bed, staring at the glowing screen. Comments about Kim Eojin were still flooding the section. Alright. I'll meet with Doa later to discuss this. It seemed better to consult Doa than to worry alone. There's still some time left, so perhaps practicing a bit before showing her wouldn’t be a bad idea. About 30 minutes later, the manager sent me the script. As I opened the file and read through it, I murmured one of the lines quietly. “If you’re an otaku, why don’t you stay tucked away reading comics instead of coming out all the time...?” Is the acting concept supposed to be self-deprecation? Seems like it.