307 Sendai-san Isn't the Same - Story About Buying My Classmate Once A Week

Sendai-san Isn't the Same Chapter 307 I feel like today's Sendai-san isn't the best version of herself. Her gaze is directed at a guidebook, using the bed as a backrest. "Miyagi, are you listening?" Sendai-san speaks without lifting her face from the book filled with fish. Her eyes never meet mine. "…I'm listening." I squish the head of the penguin plushie beside me. But the plushie, brought by Sendai-san from her room, doesn't complain. It just sits quietly between us, remaining silent. "Which aquarium should we go to?" "Anywhere is fine. Since you said you’d make the plans, Sendai-san, you should decide everything." "Can I come to your room later?" Sendai-san suddenly said that over dinner, and soon after she got out of the bath, she came to my room with the penguin plushie and a guidebook for aquariums. I thought she came to inform me of tomorrow's destination. Instead, she opened up the guidebook, wanting to discuss the aquarium visit, bringing us to the present moment. But I don’t think there’s any need to ask for my opinion. It was Sendai-san who kept renewing our promise to go see penguins together, and she chose the day as well. Since she said she’d make the plans, she ought to decide on the destination too. "I went through the trouble of buying a book." "I didn’t ask you to buy it." When I tried different searches on my phone about aquariums with penguins during the holidays, I was unsure where exactly would be best to visit. But I only cared about seeing penguins, so there was no need for such worry. That holds true now as well. As long as the aquarium has penguins, that is enough. There's no need to go out and buy a guidebook just to pick a place. I don't want to use a guidebook for my promise with Sendai-san anyway. "Is anywhere really fine?" Sendai-san finally lifts her gaze from the guidebook to look at me. Our eyes meet for the first time today, and as I pull on the penguin’s hand, I respond with "It is." "Really?" "You're being persistent, I already said it's fine." Summer vacation, winter vacation, spring vacation. The promises my father made about taking me somewhere would always be abandoned in favor of work. To be precise, shortly after my mother left, he did keep his promises sometimes. But those incidents gradually became commonplace, until "special promises" were no longer made at all. Carefully crafted plans never came to fruition; I don’t remember seeing any benefit in the guidebooks my father bought. Guidebooks aren’t good things. Promises exist to be broken, hopes exist to be dashed. I now recall all those thoughts. "Then, how about you just close your eyes and pick the aquarium on whichever page you flip to?" Sendai-san suggests with an air of ingenuity, and I toss the penguin at her. "Hey, Miyagi, don’t throw Pen-chan. That's mean." Holding the caught plushie, Sendai-san protests, displeased. "I find that randomness annoying." "Then join in the discussion. At least suggest some potential spots you'd like to go to." "I have no suggestions." "How about this—let's do rock-paper-scissors? If I win, you have to pick a place you want to go." After placing the penguin on the floor, Sendai-san gives me a bright smile. "I won’t do it. You cheat at rock-paper-scissors." I can't trust playing rock-paper-scissors with Sendai-san. Even when she says she'll play rock and I choose paper, she switches to scissors. Promises should be kept. Though sometimes being with Sendai-san makes me believe they will be, I also know there are times that they aren't. There is no "absolute" in this world. While it's possible to approach it, nothing absolutely exists, not even my contradictory thoughts. "I don't think I cheat, though." Her nonchalant voice reaches me, and I immediately reject it with a firm "you do." "Well, it's fine. I made a promise to plan the trip, so I'll decide myself." With that, she lowers her gaze again to the guidebook. Another page is turned to reveal penguins. Again a page is turned to reveal seals. Pages continue to turn endlessly. As blurry fish swim across the pages, the guidebook consumes the gaze that was looking at me. "Sendai-san." I tap the penguin's head as I call out to her. "Have you found a place you want to go?" Still without looking up, Sendai-san responds, "No." Boring. This kind of Sendai-san is really boring. I don't exactly want an intense discussion about choosing a destination, but all this relentless flipping through a guidebook is uninteresting. She hasn't lifted her eyes from the light blue pages, making it seem as if she doesn't care about me at all. It's as if, even though I'm here, I'm not seen—it feels the same as not being here at all, making my presence meaningless. It's no different from being alone in my room. I stretch my hand towards Sendai-san's neck, touching it softly with my fingertips. Slowly, I glide my fingers across her soft skin and firmly press against her collarbone. "Miyagi. You do know we're going out tomorrow, right?" Sendai-san looks up from the guidebook to meet my gaze. "Yeah, I know. What about it?" "If you leave a mark, it'll be troublesome." She clasps my hand. "I won’t leave any. I’m just touching. Let go." I have the right to leave as many marks on Sendai-san as I wish. She belongs only to me, so I can mark her as much as I like to show she's mine. There’s no room for refusal. But today, I don’t feel like leaving marks. I just want her to look at me. "Sendai-san." When I call her name, the hand that held mine lets go. I place the penguin on the bed and inch closer to her. Again, I press my hand against her neck and stroke her throat. A soft voice calling "Miyagi" reaches my ears as I gently settle my teeth against her neck. Freshly out of the bath, she smells just like me. Her body is warm, and it makes mine feel just as heated. Wanting to feel more of her warmth, I lift her shirt and press my palm against her side, causing her body to tremble slightly. I lift my face from her neck and look at her. "Why did you flinch?" When I question her, her eyes, which had been trained on me, start to drift towards the guidebook, prompting me to press my hand firmly against her side. "…I thought you were going to do something like that." I hear her vague, mumbled reply. "What do you mean 'something like that'?" "Something like that is something like that." I understand what Sendai-san is trying to say. But at times like this, she usually says it more definitively. There’s something off. I sense that, but my curiosity makes me want to see where this version of Sendai-san will go, so I stroke her side upwards. "Miyagi. Do you want to do something like that?" I hear the words that aim to avoid clarifying again, and I let my hand wander under her chest. Through my palm, I feel how tense her body has become. Just a little higher. That's where my hand should be. I’ve touched there before. And even now, if I wanted to, I could touch it. With a thud, my heart pounds. I exhale softly, and when I move my fingers slightly, our locked gaze breaks apart, leaving me unsure of what to do. "Miyagi." She calls my name firmly, and I let go. Putting the distance of a single penguin between us, I grab the guidebook she was holding and flip it open. "What about continuing?" To her question, I respond with "Not doing it," and turn the pages. "If you don’t feel that way, then don’t touch me like that." "I don’t get your meaning." "You understand perfectly well." Sendai-san takes the guidebook from me and places it on the table. But she doesn't say anything further. Suddenly, the room is silent, and even though it's my space, it feels uncomfortable. "…Is Mio-san doing well?" Unsure of what to say to banish the oppressive silence, fragments of what's been on my mind finally spill out. "She's doing well." "I see." "Is that all?" What I really want to ask about is Noto-san. I've been worried about whether she’s said anything to Sendai-san. However, since Sendai-san hasn't mentioned Noto-san at all, I assume she doesn’t know that I met Noto-san at Maika's workplace. If she knew, she’d definitely ask me something. Yet, I can’t get Noto-san out of my mind. If I suddenly bring up her name, it might seem strange to Sendai-san, so all I can do is brood over it. "Is Mio-san still working at the café?" I continue the conversation that seems both relevant and irrelevant. "Sometimes. Are you interested in working?" "I’m not." "I know." Sendai-san’s voice carries a resigned tone, and once more, the room falls silent. But this time, Sendai-san quickly chases the silence away. "Is it okay if we go to the same aquarium we visited last time?" "Yeah." "Can I kiss you?" Sendai-san adds it like an attachment to the topic of the aquarium. "No." "Why not?" "Just because." With those words, I drag the penguin down from the bed and hug it tightly.