301 - Story About Buying My Classmate Once A Week

Chapter 301 There had always been rules between us. From the day I met Miyagi at the bookstore, they were naturally present. They were what bound Miyagi and me together. Without them, we would have merely remained classmates and never shared the same time and space. Thus, dismissing them with a throwaway comment like "We don't need them anymore" is unacceptable. I don't know what Miyagi's intentions are, but abolishing the rules is something that cannot be allowed. "If we're going to live together, we need rules, right?" I look up at Miyagi, who is sitting on the bed with her knees hugged to her chest. The rules we created after becoming roommates are essential when living with someone else. Not allowing friends to stay overnight and notifying each other when coming home late are ways to avoid trouble. The other rules about daily life serve the same purpose. They might be minor, but it's better to have them than not. Trying to eliminate them is plain absurd. "We don't need them." Miyagi quietly refutes my words. I tap my fingertips on the floor and clench my hands tightly. Miyagi's response isn't favorable. "What about my opinion?" "I won't listen." Without looking at me, Miyagi directs her gaze at her own toes. Her words indicate that this conversation won't turn for the better, and I squeeze my hands even tighter. My nails dig into my palms. —I won’t allow it. I can't read Miyagi's thoughts when she doesn't look at me, and even if she were to, I doubt I'd understand. Yet, it feels like Miyagi is about to suggest dissolving our roommate relationship, casting a gray cloud over my heart. The rules are meant to protect our relationship as roommates. To abolish them is akin to wanting to end that bond. My thoughts become muddled. The heavy silence makes me want to flee. "Sendai-san—" "Miyagi, aren't you acting strange today?" I cut off her words with my own to drown out what I heard. It’s not that I want to speak, but I feel that I must prevent Miyagi from speaking. "I'm not strange." Though an irritated voice comes through, I'm the one who wishes to speak in a voice full of annoyance. "Then why suddenly say we don't need the roommate rules?" I mimic Miyagi's low tone. It’s a poorly chosen question. The question might prompt Miyagi to end our roommate arrangement. I bite down on my lip at my blatant slip-up. Though I initiated the roommate arrangement, it was Miyagi who bound me with those words. She trained me, ensuring I wouldn't step outside the definition of a roommate, making me follow her instructions. —A cherished curse. Even though I chose to suppress my feelings, weighing them against my bond with Miyagi, it was through the existence of the word "roommate" that I could continue holding back the words I longed to convey. I love Miyagi. This emotion, which I have sealed away, has been continuously refined by the word "roommate" into a form deemed proper by Miyagi, bringing me to where I stand today. I don't know what lies beyond when the spell is broken. I don't want to know. Miyagi's current demeanor instills no optimism for the future. "I'm sorry. Let's forget my last question. How about we end this conversation? We can decide the rules again and talk about it properly another time." I smile at Miyagi, who isn't looking at me, and receive a detached reply, "There's more to discuss." It's hopeless. If this conversation continues, something bad will happen. The feelings sealed within me will remain tomorrow and the day after that. And the bond we've preserved without conveying this indelible feeling is our relationship as roommates. Just as Miyagi clings to the word "roommate," so do I. "Can't we do this another time?" "No, we can't." Miyagi declares resolutely. Then, having not met my gaze before, she now locks eyes with me and takes a small breath. I must stop her. Even though I think this, I can't even produce a small voice from my throat. Breathing becomes difficult. My breath catches. Miyagi's mouth moves, and I can hear her voice. "I'm ending our roommate relationship." The strength leaves my hands, which have been tightly clenched, and the world loses its color. Black and white. Those are the only colors visible to my eyes, and a bleak monochrome world unfolds before me. The gray cloud in my chest becomes part of the monochrome scenery and envelops me. I can't see Miyagi through the black and white. "Does that mean we won't live together anymore?" I question Miyagi, who should be there but feels absent. "We'll live together until we graduate from university, but we'll stop being roommates." Live together. Those words momentarily calm my turbulent heart, only to have it roil again. The statement about ending our roommate relationship feels unnecessary and excessive. It leaves me unsure about whether to be happy or not, and I can't understand her reasons for saying such a thing. "...What could have happened for us to live together but not be roommates anymore?" "Nothing in particular." "That's a lie. What are you thinking?" Silence. Nothing penetrates the solitude. The world remains like an old black and white film with Miyagi blending into the room. The silence turns my vision into a shade of gray. As my desire to live together, even just as roommates, collapses, like grains of sand, it erects a wall between Miyagi and me. I try to call out, "Miyagi." No voice emerges. The too-quiet room doesn't permit optimistic thoughts like ending our roommate relationship to become lovers. Perhaps... Maybe Miyagi has found someone she likes. This realization comes too late, something I should have noticed earlier. If she wants to stop being roommates, it’s not unreasonable to think such a thing has occurred. She might already be dating someone I don't know, wishing to live with them instead. Though I haven't seen any indication of that, if it weren't the case, she wouldn't suggest ending our roommate relationship. Once this thought enters, I can't let it go. My mind keeps spiraling to negative conclusions, and I’m flooded with thoughts that push me to the depths of despair. "It was you who said, 'Let's stay roommates,' Miyagi. Isn't it irresponsible to take back what you said on a whim? Take responsibility and continue being my roommate." I call out to Miyagi, hoping she'll dismiss my pessimistic thoughts. But Miyagi, being who she is, doesn't conform to my expectations. "No." Her small voice clearly rejects me. I've believed that Miyagi holds some affection for me, even to the extent of allowing kisses and beyond. But apparently, I was wrong. This is a reality hard to accept, and my mind struggles to deny it. "Why don't you want to?" Miyagi is heading in the wrong direction. I want to correct the course of this conversation. "I don't want to say." Miyagi's voice drifts in, and I exhale softly, trying to dispel it. I let down my tied hair, hoping for a change in mood. —Though, nothing changes. In this monochrome world, I search for Miyagi's dark eyes, trying to meet her gaze. "Is it okay if I sit next to you?" "Do as you like." Her flat voice reaches me, and I get up from the floor. As I sit beside Miyagi, the bed creaks, affirming my presence. But still, Miyagi's presence remains uncertain. "I don't think it's right to decide on your own to stop being roommates. Shouldn't we talk it over first?" I address Miyagi. The "roommate" relationship I initiated, which Miyagi decided on, shouldn't end without me understanding what happened. Even if it has to end, it's something that should be concluded together, since it started with us both. Miyagi and me. Neither of us should end it unilaterally. "Talking won't change anything." Miyagi states curtly and continues. "Sendai-san... Since we're ending the roommate relationship, listen to me about one thing." Exchanging one thing for another. We'd had many such exchanges between us, but the past "somethings" were usually enticing enough to compel me into a deal. Today is different. This feels detestable. "I'm not accepting such conditions." The negotiation Miyagi is attempting was destined to fail from the start. "You have no choice in the matter, Sendai-san." "Why?" "Just because. You don't have the right to refuse." Miyagi, with a tyrannical air, announces this and takes hold of my hand, which was buried in the gray turmoil of my crumbling view. Her unexpected warmth makes my arm twitch, but her hand remains firmly around mine. She grips my hand, and I lose the chance to retort. "...What are the terms?" "Sendai-san belongs to me, right?" Instead of answering, Miyagi repeats a familiar exchange from our past. "Yes." "Then you shouldn't belong to anyone else. Even if someone says something, don't follow them, and don't meet those kinds of people. Stay as mine 'only.' " Her grip tightens painfully. The warmth of Miyagi, transmitted through her touch, makes her black hair seem even darker. Seeing the red of her lips, color returns to the world once painted in black and white. "...What about friends? Are friends not okay too?" "Friends... I have them too, so." "So they're allowed?" "...Only if they're truly friends." "Is that the only condition?" "Yes." Her small voice brings certainty to what had felt uncertain about Miyagi. I still don't understand why Miyagi decided to eliminate the word "roommate," but the condition aligns closely with what I wanted, making my previous despair at the bottom of the pit feel foolish. Yet, I can't feel entirely happy. A relationship that loses something it relied upon becomes unstable. It teeters and wobbles, and applying too much pressure might cause it to collapse entirely. Miyagi is cautious and timid. Our joined hands can easily separate at any moment. "If that's the only condition, I'm okay with swapping out being roommates. But let's not get rid of the rules. It'd be troublesome if friends stayed over, or if there were no notice when coming home late." I reciprocate Miyagi's grip, handing over the fragment of "rules" that kept the essence of "roommate." Our feelings don't quite align yet. Until we're on the same page, we need something to bind us. "...Alright." "Then, it's a promise." I release her hand and touch Miyagi's ear. As my lips approach her earring, I feel a gentle push on my shoulder. "I'll do it." Saying so, Miyagi reaches for the blue stone on my ear.